Family Life - Extended Family & Friends

It's funny how you hear the saying 'Can't live with them, can't live without them' and it's usually referring to a person of the opposite sex.

Well, in my case I guess it is pointing more towards my family from the day to day hub bub and talk going from family to family; to just feeling plain bad that you don't see them more often.

Maybe it is just a woman thing, maybe it's just a me thing -who knows.

I know after my mom died, my sis and I were talking every day and after a month or so and I would go a couple days without talking to her, I would really feel empty.

Was I using her to fill the hole in my heart, my day, from not seeing and talking to mom, I don't know -Maybe I was........is that really fair to her or me?

I know as you get older, you re-define things and define things you never needed to before and ultimately that leads to change.

I guess the best thing to do and what I have been doing, is to evaluate my life, my friends, my needs and how they all fit together.

I used to find myself *pining over people in my life, I mean I wanted to have a relationship with certain people because I felt we had soo much in common, and it would keep the common thread of family knit close. After many years of heart-ache and headaches, I finally decided there are just some people who were 'IN' my life, that were never going to be a 'PART' of my life.

I suppose the best thing to do is focus on those things that are important to me, my kids, my spiritual direction, happy marriage, and the rest will worry about itself.

I don't like to be busy just for the sake of needing to be busy; I like to be productive and that satisfies many needs for me.
I mean if I just start rummaging through things just because I am bored, or if I am looking for something and start tearing boxes out or yanking things out of drawers, I usually end up finding what I am looking for.
BUT, the mess I leave behind is annoying and I usually don't end up very happy with the ends result. That would be me sorting and cleaning and organizing things when I might not necessarily have the time or patience. & if I end up leaving it, well it usually only gets worse and the point of contention later on somehow.

Family -Immediate
Extended Family
Neighbors
Co-Workers
Friends
Acquaintances

They all have an effect on us - just how much depends on the value we place on them.

I need to figure for myself, who I allow to influence me, my choice in the end to see what/who governs my mind and life.

I gotta go - I need to go do some thinking and changing of the way I look at things and what I do.

Hope you all have a Great Day!!

~Breeze

*Pining: Defined as a feeling of deep longing.

& Life Goes On.....It Always Does!

So my oldest child is only 7 and I am having to deal with kids breaking up.

Not my own, but if you have an extended family like mine then you will know that nieces and nephews move from b/f or g/f and then back again at a regular rate anymore and well my family is no different.

I have soo many mixed feelings and have had them for a very long time about my children and their hearts. You might wonder what I am talking about, read on and you will see.

Some years ago I received a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye, written by Joshua Harris. Of course my library is pretty diverse, and I haven't read each book. Some I have flipped thru, some half, and well I'm sure you get the picture.

While I did not read this one, I get the idea of it from reading the back of the book and now that my kids are getting older, I am going to have to get it read.

To give you an idea of it's contents, here is a review:

Amazon.com Review
While most Christians agree to seek purity and save sex for marriage, few have been given a blueprint for how that should affect their view of dating and love. In I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris exposes the "Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating" and offers a realistic outline of how to have a biblical vision of marriage. Harris contends that one must begin with a new attitude, viewing love, purity, and singleness from God's perspective rather than thinking that love and romance are to be enjoyed "solely for recreation." In such well-named chapters as "Guarding Your Heart" and "What Matters at Fifty," Harris encourages the reader to look at one's character rather than reveling in infatuation, to regard love as a truly selfless, biblical act rather than a feeling. He refutes the concept that we are victims of "falling in love" (that it is beyond our control), saying that "God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. Smart love looks beyond personal desires and the gratification of the moment. It looks at the big picture: serving others and glorifying God." Before you roll your eyes, moaning that this sounds terribly unromantic, know that Harris does a superb job of couching his convictions in the sincere belief that if we are purposeful in our singleness and date with integrity, a fulfilled marriage awaits us--in God's timing. --Jill Heatherly --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title

Personally, I did not have to go through what most teenagers experience time and again every year in their lives and school careers. Most adults went through it all and think it 'NORMAL' that their kids go thru this phase just as they did.

I don't want my kids to experience things on a level kids today have grown to
accept as the norm. This is simply because it isn't and doesn't have to be accepted as such. I feel strongly about this, as I know this is going to shape them into a life I would rather they not live and shape them into people I would rather they weren't.

I always tell friends and family alike that anyone who wants to get to my son or daughter are going to have to go through me first.

& whoever will be close to my kids, close enough to even be considered for a permanent or semi-permanent place in their life is going to be like a member of our family first.

Most people let alone kids and young adults do not accept responsibility for their choices in life, and there is no sense of accountability for anything they say and do.
So why in the world am I going to just hand my kids over to another who will act and react in life without thought of repercussion or outcome further than 5 minutes from now.

I cannot even begin to demonstrate here with the many stories in the news about kids being cyber-bullies, or groups of teens corralling one child into a secluded area only to physically as well as emotionally scar them -forever.

Before I rant on and on, I will close with these thoughts.

If we do not protect our children from a society that wants to rape and pillage everything of value from them who will?

I do not accept that 'DATING' is the way to go, not for my kids anyway; my children will be given and shown to see many other things to do with their lives besides the roller-coaster most kids ride today.

There will be plenty of time after they find direction in life, for them to see that someone for them to share their life with is out there looking too. Kids deserve to be kids, enjoying life as only a child can.

Don't rush to grow up my child - I love you and will help you in anyway I can for as long as I am able.
~Love Always, Mommy

Bananas - Yellow, Green or Brown

What are things you think of when you hear the words below, I will give you a look at my thoughts.

Yellow Bananas.........nice smell, sweet to taste and pretty to look at.
Green Bananas.........not ripe, bland, starchy feel/smell & well, not quite ready.
Brown Banana.........over-ripe, almost-rotten, no flavor, mushy & 'fruit' fly.

While it is true that brown bananas are perfect for baking, bringing a nice full body flavor to any baked good; there is no life to the banana in and of itself.
With the amount of heat going to the making of something lovely, the banana is gone but not forgotten.

Making sense of 'all that' isn't something you need to do, these are just words and thoughts that come to my mind when I see the words associated with bananas, their color and ripeness level.

Now what made me think of them is watching my son run around the family room, care-free and half-dressed.

My little guy Jude was in the kitchen today pointing up to the counter top and jibbering away like there was no tomorrow.

Right now he is in this stage of getting your attention, pointing at something and 'talking' away. Way cute this morning when he did this and I corrected his jibbing and told him to say ba-na-na, he proceeded to say Ne-Na.

Now to any parent out there who has gotten all giddy over these triumphs, you know exactly what I am talking about when I say it is a momentous occasion.

Now I have heard the old adage, enjoy them before they speak and the other 'lovely' saying of we teach them to walk and talk then once they do, we tell them to shut up and stay still. He has been running in and out of the kitchen all day and every time he goes by the counter hollers Ne-Na with a smile, I smile with him!

I am smiling as I write this and I know that my mother would have fallen over herself with PURE JOY at hearing her little man's first words. She was close to both of my babies and they loved her every bit as much as she did them.

This past week has been a little hectic, people calling about dogs, my daughter getting testing done at the hospital, birthday party for my nephew and a whole slew of other things.

My birthday was among one of the things that happened this past week and it was the first since my mom's passing over 6 months ago. My dad was going through a pretty rough time himself Friday and my birthday came and went without seeing either one of my parents. I was emotional on a couple of occasions that day, but I presume that is to be expected.

Many family and friends made me smile with their well wishes and taking time to remember me meant more to me this year than it had in years past.
So from birthday gatherings on Friday until this moment now, so much emotion has engulfed me and left me feeling different today than I was yesterday.

Thinking about my kids, Marjke is growing more and learning more each week in school and my engeltjie Jude is still in his green banana stage with soo many things; potty training, taking care of his own needs and much more.

BUT, he is in the yellow stage as far as I am concerned with his talking and desire to communicate with us about how he sees things.

I just thought I would take this opportunity to share with everyone I know, that I am smiling about Judah's achievements and happy to see him advancing more everyday.

So to each of you going from the green to yellow stage in any area of your life, smile and share it with someone who will be as thrilled as you are.

May each of you feel that God has smiled upon you and until another line is blogged.

Ciao!
~Breeze